Oh how I dread hitting the publish button on this post. I hate admitting that I haven’t been following my own program, tell you I’ve gone off track, confessing I’ve lost control over my own eating habits. I could hide behind my computer and lie and tell you how fabulous it is to be in control and losing tons of weight (would you know?), I could just make this weekly posting disappear and hope no one asks how its going, I could even lie and post pics of myself from 5 years ago and say ‘look – I’ve done it!’ and only one of my readers (a good friend of mine) would be the wiser.
Here’s the thing, I run a small home business under the ‘Boutique Karma’ name, this blog is mostly professional but this is the little glimpses I give to you of my own life struggles. It’s a little bit of a tightrope walk because often I question this feature – I wonder if it is too personal. My friend (above mentioned) told me she loves this – and it might allow you, potential buyers, suppliers, virtual friends and supporters get to know a little bit about me. Makes me more than a shop front, more than a tree avatar or a cute mug. I’m not the only out there struggling and maybe you can relate.
Let me tell you where it all fell to pieces last week. I was being super good, writing in my pretty new journal, drinking my water (kind of) and motivated again. Then I found a recipe to surprise my wonderful dessert starved husband with. I thought it was a great fun idea (just give me a second and I’ll fill you in with what it is), didn’t take a long time to make and my husband loved it. It is what is known as a 5 minute chocolate cake in a mug. Thats it, you whip it up in a mug, cook it for 3 minutes in the microwave and you are done! 5 mins! Where is the danger in that???? Instant gratification my friends. How can I make it for my husband and not eat it myself? Seriously? Do you see me cooking CHOCOLATE cake and sitting beside him with a fat-free yogurt while watching these perfect athletic Olympians? So I had the first blip, then my husband continuously asks for it every night. I haven’t been caving, but the continuous whining and pleading for chocolate cake is killing my will power.
I’m having a hard time flipping the switch and doing better. I want to say from the time I hit publish I will be a super strong, willful & healthy eater, but I can make not guarantees. All I can say is that from the time I hit publish I will stop the mental mitchy (mean & ____ combo word taught by a dear friend) self talk. I will put my setbacks behind me and try for a better week. I can do this, I know it. It’s not the winning that matters, it is how we get there… right??
btw – I’m going out for Italian on Saturday – this will be a planned free for all. I’m ok with that, Sunday will be a new day.
Anyone having a hard time out there? Anyone have cookies talking to them from the cupboards?
DREAM.BELIEVE.ACHIEVE words to live by